Harvard Positive Psychology#2
#FINDING FIT
Sonja Lyubomirsky "How of happiness"
找出適合自己的工具很重要，這段課程會提出很多方法改善生活，
有的適合有的不適合，視情況調整，將其融入生活之中。
#Focusing on What Doesn't Work
“The science of psychology has been far more successful on the negative than on the positive side; it has revealed to us much about man's shortcomings, his illnesses, his sins, but little about his potentialities, his virtues, his achievable aspirations, or his psychological height. It is as if psychology had voluntarily restricted itself to only half its rightful jurisdiction, and that the darker, meaner half.”
- Abraham Maslow
心理學家學術論文中，「消極」與「積極」比例為21:1，
哈佛學生中有47%的人曾經歷抑鬱期，英國學生亦有45%，
平均抑鬱年齡為14.5歲（1960年為29.5歲），
抑鬱人數相較1960年增加了10倍。
（抑鬱(depression)：長時間情緒低落，待在家中而無法出門）
#Why positive psychology?
● The importance of focusing on what works
● Happiness is not the negation of unhappiness
● Prevention through cultivating capacity
#Resilience
"A class of phenomena characterized by patterns of positive adaptation in the context of significant adversity of risk."
-Masten & Reed
適應力：面對不利或危險狀態仍能積極適應。
They aren't Superkids.
成功的人並非特別聰明，相反的，他們很普通。
#Ordinary characteristics, extraordinary results
● Optimism
● Faith and a sense of meaning
● Prosocial behavior
● Focusing on strengths
● Set goals
● A role model
● Social support
樂觀(optimism):believe things will work out well
雖然這次不會成功，但經歷了這些也學習到了很多，相信之後一定會成功，事情都將會被解決。
對生活有信心，生活有意義(Faith and a sense of meaning)、理想主義(idealistic)
親近社會的行為(Prosocial behavior)
幫助他人亦是幫助自己，進入螺旋上升(upward spiral)的正向循環
專注於自己的長處(Focusing on strengths)
問自己，我善於做什麼(What am I good at?)，而非專注於缺點
設立目標(Set goals)
Finding role model gave them strength and sense of direction.
社會的支持(Social support)
承認自己並不完美(strength of admit weakness)，勇敢向社會尋求支持而不孤單
#Ask Positive Questions
問題：
30秒內數出下列圖形中有多少個幾何圖形?
大家皆專注於幾何圖形的數數，而忽略了圖上的其他訊息。
關掉照片後，詢問班上700個Harvard學生
時鐘是幾點？只有4.5人回答出來
巴士有幾個小孩？只有11.5個人回答出來
專注是一件好事，可以讓我們過濾掉雜訊，然而卻會創造出另一個實境(create specific reality)
The only question we ask, the only thing we will see.
Even though they are in front of you, but they aren't exist.
夫妻蜜月期過後的問題：
我們出現了什麼問題？伴侶有什麼缺點？如何改善關係？
然而不停地提出負面問題，儘管試圖改善關係，卻將使彼此更惡化；
因為他們將注意力放在彼此的缺點，而忘記了彼此的優點與美好。
“We see what we look for and we miss much of what we are not looking for even though it is there... Our experience of the world is heavily influenced by where we place our attention.”
-Stavros and Torres
問題創造了現實(Question create reality)
Ask myself:
What is my strength?
What is my passion?
It will create self-respect and self-confidence.
Understand question
#Appreciate
meaning:
1.感激
thanks for something
not to take it for granted
2.上升
to grow
Marva collins
一位成功的教育家
推薦給領導者、未來的父母
中文版未上市
此連結為網友提供之中英文對照版本
● Role models
● High Expectations
● From blame to responsibility
● Tough and respectful
● Optimism and faith in future
● From focusing on deficiencies to focusing on strengths
停止抱怨，而是承擔責任(From blame to responsibility)
It's up to you to success.
嚴厲但尊重(Tough and respectful)
適用於增進領導才能，當令人喜愛的領導者要懂得尊重下屬
#Active
Passive victim:
● illumination and self-pity
● blame
● frustration
● anger
We should turn it to ...
Active Agent:
● take action
● responsibility
● confidence
● hope and optimism, become a self-fulfilling prophecy
Being active agent(積極主動者) doesn't means not giving ourselves the times, the space, the permission to experience painful emotions, to go through the emotions. However, What is also saying is that we need to find the right time to take action.
我們可以給自己哀悼的空間，但結束後必需行動。
Happiness isn’t the Negation of Unhappiness.
#No one will come
Nathaniel Branden
One of six pillars in self-esteem : self responsibility
No one will coming to make your life better for you.
停止抱怨，為自己的人生負責，沒有人會來拯救你。